Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more

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  (317): did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more http://tfl.nu/ndo9
  Replies (4) Good night (627) Bad night (969)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.

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  (404): I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now. http://tfl.nu/90oh
  Replies (11) Good night (3069) Bad night (1155)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?

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  (404): I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that? http://tfl.nu/s882
  Replies (56) Good night (7816) Bad night (978)
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  (619): View more from California

  He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on

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  (619): He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on http://tfl.nu/aooo
  Replies (37) Good night (1188) Bad night (14807)
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  (518): View more from New York

  im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'

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  (518): im in his phone as 'great ass to tap' http://tfl.nu/xhkl
  Replies (26) Good night (10127) Bad night (1648)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.

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  (630): I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/bzms
  Replies (9) Good night (1411) Bad night (2632)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.

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  (386): its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea. http://tfl.nu/ey40
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (2063)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.

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  (604): I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself. http://tfl.nu/ea90
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (510)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  How did you get him out of the shower last time?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.

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  (727): How did you get him out of the shower last time? (1-727): Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed. http://tfl.nu/m3jy
  Replies (0) Good night (886) Bad night (299)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum

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  (913): I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum http://tfl.nu/ad9i
  Replies (8) Good night (1216) Bad night (382)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.

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  (701): Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy. http://tfl.nu/7jm2
  Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (883)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.

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  (914): Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants. http://tfl.nu/muni
  Replies (0) Good night (518) Bad night (324)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!

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  (330): Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess! http://tfl.nu/oyok
  Replies (1) Good night (993) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life

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  (704): Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life http://tfl.nu/jsnk
  Replies (1) Good night (587) Bad night (345)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.

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  (402): It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night. http://tfl.nu/0jb0
  Replies (2) Good night (241) Bad night (501)

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