Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.