babies were throwing up all over the place
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my j├Ąger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.