why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
