I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's never too late to be topless.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
