you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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