You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize