We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
