Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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