i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
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Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
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I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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