Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
