so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
