would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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