This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
