honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
