my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
