i think i have herpe
just one?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
