I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
