Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
