You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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