Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize