so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
