I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
