I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
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i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
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I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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