You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
