They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
