He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
