so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't notice because vodka
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
