Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We just shotgunned beers for America
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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