So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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