Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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