Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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