Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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