Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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