For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i think my cat just said my name.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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