haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
