Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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