my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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