Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
