You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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