But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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