awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize