I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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