I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
