Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
