You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
