But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
