Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
