did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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