You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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