Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
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it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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