I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize