Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
