Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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