Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
