I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
