Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
