are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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