I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Boobs speak an international language.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
