She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
