Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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