Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
