did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
