That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
