Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
